


Nightmares

by Anonymous



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Anders (Dragon Age) Needs a Hug, Anders (Dragon Age) Positive, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Nightmares, One Shot, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Hawke will always be there for Anders...always.
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23
Collections: Anonymous





	Nightmares

Hawke rarely woke up in the middle of the night, let alone to the sound of screaming. Neither of Hawke's siblings were prone to nightly outbursts and the mabari's snores had stopped bothering Hawke since a week after he first got him. 

It wasn't until Anders that Hawke's sleep routine was disrupted. Anders was prone to nightmares, either of darkspawn, demons or templars. The older mage carried a lot of emotional baggage and, never learning how to properly express himself, Anders' dream tended to unviel all of his hidden fears. 

Hawke hated hearing Anders scream. 

It was a better alternative than pure silence, the uncertainty of Anders being there on the other side of the bed, alive and breathing. Hawke carried his own baggage, and losing people was one of the heaviest. The first time Hawke saw a Tranquil, Hawke knew he did not want anyone he cared for to suffer that fate, to become stoic individuals with no emotion. 

If Anders could scream and cry and claw at the bed sheets or his own hair, Hawke was reassured that his beloved was still fine. Hawke had vowed to make sure Anders would remain fine, ever since they'd spent their first night together, yet even as the templars continued to haunt Anders in his dreams, Hawke himself often witnessed a stone-faced Anders in his. 

Naturally, Hawke spent those nights comforting Anders with hugs, kisses and sweet words he hoped weren't empty. Anders seemed happy to have someone finally there to soothe him, to remind him of his own worth when he so often forgot it. 

Some nights, Hawke imagined himself cradling not the Darktown healer, but the twelve years old boy, new to the Circle and about to suffer years of abuse and torment. Anders had spoken little of his past beyond the occasional jokes, about Senior Enchanter Sweeney's various traps against unwitting apprentices or Nathaniel Howe's inability to wear anything but a frown on his face, at least whenever he was in Anders' presence. 

Hawke understood Anders was downplaying the horrors of his past, and being an expert of cracking jokes himself, Hawke was able to see through the cracks and tell how bad Anders' life had been; the other mage was often lonely and in a desperate need to find a home, a place of acceptance. Hawke was more than willing to help with the former and offer the latter. 

On those nights when Hawke let his imagination run, he also wanted to protect the boy he never got to meet, the boy he could not protect. Anders was so deeply hurt and traumatized - Hawke's entire gang of friends was - that Hawke sometimes feared he wasn't good enough to heal Anders from his pain. 

Maker knew Hawke hadn't been that good with healing his mother's grief from losing Bethany or dealing with Carver's personal issues as the family's only non-mage child. Maybe he was too used to pretending his own pain was irrelevant that he ended up being unable to help others deal with theirs. He liked to think trying was good enough, it had to be, for Hawke found no point in being himself if all he did was cast spells that dealt damage, never to heal. 

Just as Anders had yet to inform Hawke of some of the details of his life as a Circle mage or a Warden, even as he sat cradled in Hawke's arms, sobbing and shaking ever so slightly, Hawke had yet to admit to Anders that the reason he fell in love with him had a lot to do with Anders' ability to heal others. He was a savior in his own right and Hawke felt, if not for any other reason, then for that Anders deserved love and comfort. 

The bedroom which they shared gradually became peaceful, the sounds of sobbing replaced by the crackling of the fire in the hearth. Anders remained pressed against Hawke's body, with Hawke's arms cocooning him firmly, and much like the previous nights, Anders ceased his shaking and his breathing became even once more. Hawke didn't move, he remained sitting up and holding his beloved mage. Unless Anders fell asleep or told Hawke he was fine, Hawke would remain ever ready to help him. 

Maybe he wasn't as good of a healer as Anders, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to keep trying. 

Nimble fingers caressed Hawke's bare chest and slowly reached up, touching Hawke's cheek and bringing Hawke's eyes to look directly into Anders'. There was a small smile there on the older mage's face, yet Hawke couldn't really keep his eyes off the remnants of tears in his beloved's eyes. 

When Anders spoke, his voice was slightly dry, "Thank you, love." 

It was rare for Anders to say anything after his bouts of screaming, mostly because neither of them wanted to think about the  _cause_ of the scream, what heinous nightmare had driven Anders from peace he so rarely experienced. Hawke accepted this because he too would not like to fill Anders with the knowledge of Hawke's dreams featuring Tranquils and bodies of dearest friends and worst of all, family. 

Anders didn't need to know about the grisly nature of Hawke's nightmares as much as Hawke didn't need to remind himself of the sight of Bethany, right after the orge had broken her bones and left her for dead on the ground. 

So when Anders did speak, even if it was a mere reminder that Anders was happy to have such a dedicated lover by his side, Hawke felt content. 

"You're always welcome," Anders' smile widened a bit. He should always get to know there was someone ready to help him, protect him, from demons, templars or darkspawn. Hawke had faced down all three and he had no trouble doing it again for his own sake; he could easily kill those three types of enemies for Anders. 

Eventually, Hawke lay Anders back down on the next and wrapped one arm around the mage, to keep him safe and warm. Anders chose to snuggle against him and Hawke welcomed the gesture. Sleep followed for Anders within seconds. Hawke remained awake a bit longer, just to be sure he was truly comfortable. 

As the fire crackled and Anders fell back into the Fade, hopefully toward a nicer dream, Hawke himself joined his beloved, his arm never loosening its hold. 


End file.
